BATMAN: GHOST'S PAST
by quadmanjt
Summary: Batman has worn the cape and cowl for 10 years and thinks back to how he got there. When a call from Gordon shocks and startles him a story unfolds that only Batman has courage enough to face.
1. The Beginnings

It's been so hard these past 10 years. Its been exactly a decade today that I first doaned the cape and cowl. Now that I think back it was so much easier back then. Only revenge and hatred for what had happened to my parents that night fueled me. I can still smell the night air and almost taste the popcorn I had had at the movie. I can still remember the little tune my mother hummed as we walked along that deserted sidewalk. I still remember the way my father would look down and wink at me. That was his way of showing his love. It wasn't much but I was content with it. But those are only memories. Memories that seem so bizarre to me but then I think to what I am now and realize that it's a reality. My reality. But that's all in the past. A wise man once told me, "don't let the past affect the present." I've questioned myself on that one quote so many times. Why am I letting the past affect my life? Do I not deserve to be happy? Can I not have a family? A normal job? But all those pass as quick as they came. I still find my self perched on rooftops like a gargoyle, protecting the city. The city that I love yet dispise. I want to rid the city of crime but where would I be if I did? There would be no need for Batman thus leaving the rage in my soul blaring. Maybe that's why I love Gotham. Because I know their will always be another face to chase after. And I always will as long as God gives me the ability.  
  
The clock cricks slowly as I turn the now old hands of the grandfather clock. The same clock that used to chime at 7, as father would always say, "dinner is just around the corner." It was a great reminder that I used to never get tired of him saying, almost on a daily basis. As the clock clicks into the time of 10:05 it gives a whole different reminder. And as the clock slides away from wall the darkness consumes my eyesight. Its almost like I'm stepping into the darkness but it doesn't phase me. In fact it's a part of me. A part that I can't rid myself of no matter what I try. But again I don't think I've tried to run from it. I've fought it of course but I always knew I would lose.  
  
The steps are long and narrow but they set the mood and the rocky walls are my refuges. As I reach the bottom steps the cave looms out before me. It's much different than it used to be but it's still the only place in the world that I feel I belong. Sometimes I feel that this cave is more my home than the mansion just upstairs. I swear I've thought of selling it a million times but it's a part of Wayne Manor just as Batman is apart of Bruce Wayne.  
  
The suit feels so cool as I slip it on, a feeling I will never get used to. The cape pulls down on me a little but not enough to discomfort me and I'll forget about it soon enough. The mask is snug on my cheekbones but I like the feeling of the mask. Of course I've worn it my whole life. Whether it is that of a smile or that of charm I've always worn a mask. The funny thing is that as soon as I put my "face" on something inside me changes. Something in my soul.  
  
The cockpit slides shut over my head and engine roars to life. I look to my left and hit the lights. Four beams burn into the cave walls, almost seeing through them. I grab the aircraft like controls that sit on either side of me and pull back. The whole tank jerks forward and as the jet engine kicks in it pins me to my seat. The cave tunnel flies past me and the water splashes as I exit onto the dirt road, the entrance hidden by a waterfall. Only one thing has my attention at this point and it is the all to familiar beacon in the sky. One of a bat with wings spread wide, striking fear in the hearts of those that it faces. It is not only a signal for me but also a sign to all those in Gotham. It states that help is on the way and justice will be served. Its something I take pride in seeing but fear for the meaning for my call.  
  
As I round a curve I press the accelerator down a little to gain speed. I know there is no time to waste and nothing will stand in my way. I pass a police car going 90 but he doesn't' give chase. The whole squad has chased me and none of them could catch me. He doesn't even try. I pull hard to the left and pull into an alley, a dark place to park.  
  
As I hop out I signal with a button on my belt that the shields should be engaged. Of course they do and nobody's the wiser. I pull out my grappling gun and fire it above. As I rise from the ground I think about what could be waiting for me. It could be a normal robbery or killing that I'm so used to chasing. But every now and then you get those that make your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. Those that start of with, "a mad man is threatening to poison all of Gotham," or something along those lines. It's a lot of pressure but I never seem to realize it until it is over. Then I sit back and wondered how I haven't had a nervous breakdown by now but it's just my nature. I think about others first then myself after. My personal pain and anguish doesn't matter as long as I can save someone from what I've had to face.  
  
I finally reach the roof of the place I've been heading for, Gotham City Police Department. I grab a hold of the ledge and pull my self up slowly, making sure I'm not seen or noticed. The shadows are my home and I make sure I stay in them. As I slowly rise to my feet and feel comforted in night. I see the only man willing to trust me, Jim Gordon.  
  
He stands facing away from me and has absolutely no clue that I'm here yet but he is used to being surprised. He puffs slowly on his lit cigarette and whipes a small bead of sweat from his brow. He age is really starting to show now but he seems as stubborn as ever. No one really knows what he's been through but I've dug it up. A lot of family and emotional destress plague his emotions every day he wakes up. He is no doubt the strongest man I have ever met. How he can do this and still have the will to help this lost city is beyond me. Yet I guess all hero's don't wear masks and he certainly doesn't need too  
  
I approach him slowly. "Commissioner Gordon?" I say making sure it doesn't come as a surprise. I can see him flinch a little but he isn't startled. He doesn't even turn to face me and lets me stay mysterious, which is something I've always respected in him.  
  
"We have a situation," he says. "And this one might keep you up all night."  
  
The sound of that small phrase already burns a large whole into my imagination but I know that wouldn't even do it justice. 


	2. The Appearing

CHAPTER 2

Jim Gordon has always been the calm type. He always took everything with a grain of salt until proven other wise. Even with a phsyco on the loose he seemed to have an unnatural calm, something that even I don't possess, but something was different tonight. He seemed rather nervous and I saw what I felt was a tear in his left eye. Being that I've never seen Jim cry, this is what surprised me.

"Don't worry," I said, "I'm used to staying up."

Jim didn't respond. It was almost as if he wasn't listening but I knew that he was. He then reached deep into his overcoat pocket and pulled something out. From this angle I couldn't see it but he held it high about his shoulder for me to see. It was something that took me by surprise. A lone poker card. A Joker.

Jim let out a small sigh and turned toward me for the first time. "We found this at the train derailing. As you probably already know 11 were killed and over 30 were injured."

I knew the train derailing all too well. It happened two nights ago around midnight. It was a nonstop commercial train from Gotham to New York. Left at 11:00 but didn't even make it a hundred miles. It mysteriously derailed for some reason. Of course I couldn't stop it. How could I? I wish I could read minds or have the uncanny ability to see the future but that's not my gift. My only gift is left me too late. I got there quick enough and hoped to find some survivors, but what I arrived to was a huge inferno in one of the cars that I didn't expect. Nobody could have survived in that. I went from car to car trying to pull out as many as I could but most were pinned under debre or had every bone in their body crushed and I dare not move them. It's so hard to know that you can't help. It bothers me everyday but I have to move on. I've lost people in the past and I never get used to it. Even when I loose a criminal it feels that I've failed but I'm only human.

After searching for several minutes, with no luck, Bullock showed up with a whole fleet of paramedics. It was probably the only time I was glad to see Harvey Bullock but nonetheless I had to split. He would have found some way to pin it on me.

"Yes." I said. Gordon makes eye contact with me. He evidently feels uncomfortable because he looks away again.

"It doesn't looks so mysterious anymore with us finding this card on the engineer."

I landed softly on the ground. I hate to leave Jim hanging like that but its something both he and I have come accustom too over the years. Plus I had heard enough to know what was ahead. My brain is already scanning through the possibilities but none seem definite enough to bank on. This is where my detective skills become useful and the fact that I own the most advanced computer on the eastern seaboard. Sometimes being rich does have its advantages.

I really needed that shower. It is one of the few things that help me unwind at night, especially when a lot is on my mind. And it would happen to be one of those times.

"Master Bruce. Would like a bite to eat before bed?" Alfred says.

"No thanks Alfred."

He gives a small nod and leaves the room. It's hard to believe how long he's been here. Sometimes it just amazes me how he hasn't given up on me. When he first disagreed with what I became, I knew it was just a matter of time before he was gone. But he is still here and willing to help anyway he can when asked upon. I would offer him a chance for retirement but I knew he wouldn't except it. I think he knows that loosing him would be just as bad to me as loosing my parents. Of course the pain wouldn't be great enough to force me to seek justice but it may be enough to make me stop.

My mind can't resist and it moves back to the thought of that card. Of course it is the calling card for the Joker but one thing doesn't add up. It's the fact that he's dead. I vowed I would never take a life but his life was lost years ago. He had already taken more lives than I could ever count and I knew there would be more to follow. It was something I had to do and oddly I have never regretted it to this day. But what if the unthinkable happened and he wasn't dead. Even he escaped death one time when he fell into that vat of chemicals. But he came out insane. What if he somehow came back several times worse? How could I face him again? It's something I don't want to think about but I have to force myself. Until the mystery is solved I have to force myself.

The room goes darker and darker as I feel the heaviness of my eyelids forcing them to close. Sleep is just around the corner and I'm dozing off into that space of ease and solitude wedged between the stress of daylight hours. I've never been a big fan of sleep but tomorrow is going to be different. Maybe the ease and solitude will do me good for once.


End file.
